Worst Diet idea EVER

Slimfast and Black Beans

Like 80 carbs

Daily limit is 24.

Put on weight fast!

Alien Disc Apple Pie

***Part of the Pintester Movement***

http://pintester.com/category/pintester-movement/

At our beef cattle ranch, we are hosting a party for some Chinese folks from Beijing. ( beef cattle ranch? Aren't you vegan? Mostly yes. A tenant puts mommas and babies on to eat the grass and pays our taxes, so, we're part of the sustainable ranching thing but I digress).

A pic of Miss Sassyboo, the donkey.

She looks super with an app called "Portrait Painter".

We want to show the Chinese a very American, ranch, country experience, so there IS going to be BBQ, salmon and veggies.

Drawer of MEAT:

My guy does AMAZING things with this puppy:

But what to have for dessert?

Berries would be unusual for them , so we have those, but what's more American than Apple Pie?

Pinterest for inspiration:

And then reality sets in...

I have shit to do and I'm still in my bathrobe.

I may need one if these:

thank god for allergy laden pie:

That they have to instruct people to take OFF the plastic scares me.

BEWARE the SHINY PIE!

Looks good without the box and "Portrait Painter" What?! 

Yea....

A new level of FOOD PORN is possible with this app!

Behold the 

ALIEN DISC PORTRAIT PIE!

of Mice, Meatballs and Migranes

You all know that I am no saint when it comes to hamburger.

remember " Cold Turkey, Hot Burger"?

Well, today I got a migraine like never before. 

I toughed it out at work until I saw honeycomb patterns in front of me and knew I had to beat the traffic home. (" is this what FLIES see?!")

LIGHT! GAH!

SOUND! GAH!

To bed I went. 

I think it has a cool, Deadmaus qual to it...

I was starving and wanted " quiet food".

Meatballs from Russo's in the neighborhood sounded good. 

No hummus.

No garbanzos and chili oil.

Not even cookie dough, people.

Damn, that's serious.

So my guy, who was past the worst of his bout with it-and he's supertough too-went to get the goods.

Meatballs.

In bed. 

Deadmaus style.

yep.

Letter to Whole Foods

A while ago, I ordered groceries via Whole Foods concierge service.

First personal shop is free, after that $15.

totally worth it to me.

Recently, I got an email from them asking if  I was still interested. Of course I am. 

Here's what prevents me from another gander:

Dear Whole Foods Concierge,

Thanks for the email.

I do recall my personal shop fondly and often think about doing it again. 

What stops me?

1. Knowing that I have to find the pdf somewhere in my work computer and know the names if the items that I need.

2. Gearing up for going to the traffic-congested area of Kirby (I work in ---- now and am rarely on Freeway x near --- St anymore). Also, my office no longer has FAX.

What would make me a regular personal shopper user? 

An app for my iphone with search and radio-button technology. or at least a website to do it at work on my lunchbreak.

Would I pay more for this?

You bet! I hate grocery shopping in person at Whole Foods: Narrow aisles prohibitive to wheelchairs, crowds around the produce, stocking produce at peak times, screaming, indulged toddlers that I don't encounter at HEB or Randalls- Mostly its all the stacks of product displays cluttering the aisles and bratty kids that keeps me away. Do you ever have "mystery shoppers" that could emulate the experience of shopping after work or on a Friday off of a harried working couple without kids? When the kiddos start up, we stop filling our cart and leave. How about "family Wednesdays" for discounts for those immune to the tantrums if the tiny?

I DO miss the concierge service.

If it was super easy to do, I would do it regularly.

What would this mean to you for bottom dollar on the service?

My household spends about $600/mo in groceries/month. We are both humane meat/eggs,  Pescetarian and juicers with allergies, so that means 2-3 shops/month for fresh items. 

your margin on $600 (idk 5.2%?) plus $45 for concierge service a month?

$571.20/year?

I'm not sure if a Whole Foods is being considered for ----- area E side of Freeway x2 but I can tell you that, at least for us, we have a weekend place in xyz. All planets would be aligned if concierge service + Whole Foods on fwy x2 were available or if there was one in town A. I'd work extra hard to find that pdf and guess at what I needed if either were the case.

I love the products you carry and the concierge service. It would have to be insanely easier for me to do it more often. 

Best,

----

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 4, 2013, at 1:30 PM, Kirby Concierge Orders <kirby.conciergeorders@wholefoods.com> wrote:

Hello ---,

                It’s been awhile since we’ve heard from you and we have missed you! Please let us know if there’s anything we can do for you. As a reminder, below is a list of our concierge services. It highlights some of our most requested services, but if there’s something more you want from us, just ask! We would love your feedback on what more we can do for you!

Personal Shopping

Have a list but no time? Impromptu cocktail party? Don’t have time to round up the whole family just to grab a few things? You don’t have to sacrifice your precious time and energy for quality food! A concierge shop is designed to fit perfectly into your daily routine. Send us your family's standard grocery list and we'll shop it for you. Our guests can expect speedy service, same day delivery if desired, and reasonable shopping fees. Although a typical household shop yields an average $15 fee, we're happy to waive the fee for all first time shops. Contact us to learn more about personal shopping, home delivery and our complimentary curbside pickup option.

 

Restaurant & Office Stocking

Working on a deadline and dreading unhealthy take-out? Can’t keep Topo Chico in stock in your office refrigerator? Let us deliver all your office needs right to your floor. We offer a 10% discount on all cases of product and can place weekly special orders to ensure you never run out!

 

Catering and Event Consultation

From starters to sides, main entrees to decadent desserts, Whole Foods Market Kirby has your catering needs covered. Menu planning, one of our favorite tasks, is an exciting way to utilize our concierge service. Our expert team will provide innovative and exquisite party fare that you can easily assemble yourself in just minutes. If you're having a wedding reception, birthday bash or event just a family dinner, email or phone in your menu ideas and set up an appointment to visit us for a free menu sampling.

 

Special Orders

Stock up on your favorite must-have snacks, or special order items you aren't finding on our shelves. You'll typically enjoy your products within 48 hours! Although you can order very large quantities with this service, you'll receive a 10% discount off even just one case of any special order. We can currently special order cases of grocery items, organic and conventional produce, specialty beer, bulk grains and beans, and fresh meats. Special orders can be picked up at our Guest Service desk or they can be delivered.

 

Gifts

Flowers, chocolates, wine and fruits are typical components of a gift basket or gift bag, but feel certain our service also allows for your personal creativity. Many guests prefer to give the Concierge Team a budget and theme, such as locally produced foods, gluten-free goodies, or body care. Some guests simply give us a favorite color to work with. Whether you choose a traditional, contemporary or customized gift, we'll create the perfect gift basket or goodie bags.

                We’d like to sincerely say thank you for your time. We truly do appreciate and value our guests and strive to deliver outstanding service every time. Please let us know at Kirby.conciergeorders@wholefoods.com if you have any questions. The Kirby Concierge team is dedicated to making your experience an excellent one.

Thanks,

 

Guest Services Concierge

Whole Foods Market Kirby

Kirby.conciergeorders@wholefoods.com

 

Click here to see our catering menu!

 

"

Shower Diet Coke

I wasn't in the mood for coffee this morning. 

That really hasn't happened since I was 3 or so. (Age of Aquarius parents, don't judge...)

What I really wanted was 5 hour energy drink that tastes like liquid Smarties and is sort of gagorific but wakes me up.

I couldn't find it right away, so a Diet Coke, left over from Saturday would have to do:

In my house, we're multitaskers. 

Shower beer is nice in the evenings as is 

Shower wine. 

Yep I went there. 

I did find the Smarties energy drink, which allowed me to do a hair blowout and flat iron. 

Hoozah!

Jay and the Giant Egg

now that i have beaten kidney disease, i can eat plenty of protein.

How to get it without too many WW points? (5)

Giant Egg!

Even my guy loves this!

2 reg eggs

3 egg whites

put all 5 in a cup

heat pan to med-high

pit canola spray in pan

add eggs and cook until most if the white is not runny

cut eggs in half w spatula and flip each over easy

cook for 20 sec more

serve w sea salt

mm runny yolk over all. 

So whatever happened to that broccoli experiment?

Life. 

Work, getting married, honeymooning, renovations. 

You know. 

I DID make this cool, homemade pie chart for y'all tho. 

Basically- buy the crown. 

Shown as 30pct by weight.